2020 has not been kind to any of us. In the beginning of 2020, I was so sure that 2020 was actually 2019 latching onto the new year, but no. No year can be blamed for 2020. We lost people to COVID-19 and to other things. There was a wildifire in Australia in the beginning of the year! Does anyone remember that? But 2020 also gave us a few good things. Parasite won the best film for Oscar. What a joy that was! Dolly Parton donated a million dollars to a university for COVID-19 vaccine research when other celebrities were singing “Imagine.” Imagine that! James McAvoy was under the radar but that didn’t stop him from campaigning for masks for NHS and donating. He possibly saved a lot of people with that. He was also a delight on his Instagram page. He and other delightful famous people created a sci-fi series called Sci-Fisolation and it was epic! No joke. He was also a part of audio series of The Sandman by Neil Gaiman where he played Morphius. I cannot make this shit up. He came through this year! It was nice to know that all my favourite celebrities were a delight this year. I was not sure about Alexander Skarsgard because he was in Sweden and Sweden hadn’t take quarantine actions then I saw a photo of him by a fan and man, that guy was under quarantine. LOL He was still handsome obviously, but he was also less… polished perhaps. Just like James McAvoy.

As you can guess, my life in 2020 was basically following people on Instagram and stalking them online. Our office started working from home on March and since March, I’ve been working from home. So far, we have no plans to going back to the office and honestly, it’s okay. Yes, working from home is exhausting and you can never really switch off but it beats having COVID-19. I live with my parents (I know, still!). So during summer, we went to our summer house near to Istanbul and stayed there for a little over a month. It was the highlight of 2020 for me. My lunch break was going to the beach and swim for half an hour. 🙂

Last week, I lost a friend. Not to COVID-19 but to cancer. We had a fight last year, it was bad and it was my fault. Because I was a shitty friend to a good friend who had cancer. Then we patched things up partly because of my obstinacy but mostly because of her forgiveness. Lastly, another friend told me. We waited for three days to visit him because she was in intensive care. We wanted to say good bye. But she never got out of ICU. She died on Christmas Eve. We had met during our MA. So I told one of our professors who has obviously been our favourite from the get-go. He was also very sad about it. I wrote a small paragraph to be shared so our professor could share with everyone else in our MA program. So anyone else who wanted to get in touch, could get in touch (and they did, bless them). During our e-mailing, our professor told me that the word to describe my friend was feisty (in English) and told me to look the word up in a dictionary.

Cambridge’s description of feisty:

Collins’s description of feisty:

And those descriptions were spot-on my friend. My feisty friend: Sumru Aydın. She wanted to be a novelist, she wanted to travel the world, she wanted to love a man and call him husband, she wanted to have kids. Instead, she left her mark in all of us. Her favourite television show was Sex and the City. But instead of Carrie (even though Sumru was also a writer), she identified with Samantha. She also loved expressing herself, was politically incorrect, ride-or-die for her friends, loved sex and wasn’t ashamed of it. She also fought me hard but with kindness. Because she wanted me to be my best self. She also didn’t think that I was a novelist material because I didn’t write. That pissed me off so hard for years! But now, I only smile. Because thanks to her, I started writing again. In English and in Turkish. She’d be proud of this.

Since she died, I wasn’t able to talk about her or confront my feelings. But hey, I wrote almost half a page just now. That’s something, right?

Hopefully, my next post will be more cheerful and possibly about my book goals for 2021.

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